So begins the journey of so much more than a boat trip. I’m 43 years old, a mother of two, I like to exercise and bake and I’ve lost my sense of fun. It’s still there, somewhere, but most of the time it’s hidden in a haze of premenstrual and post menstrual grump. It’s lost in the burden of responsibility I’ve managed to create by being a mother in a foreign country- where I sort of speak the lingo but still miss most of what’s happening.
I’m frustrated at my lack of perceived achievements, my inability to know what I what out of life, where I want to live and what the hell I want to do with my life- I mean I think I know, but I can’t seem to action it. I’m filled with self doubt and low self esteem.
So where does the boat trip come in- I guess I didn’t mention the fact that I’m married to a professional yachtsman whose approaching the twilight of his sailing career- or so he keeps saying and yet he’s as fit as a 25 year old- well 30 year old, he’s experienced and good at most things. Did I mention we are both very competitive- ha ha ha, well that’s a bit of an understatement.
Our children are 8 and 9.5 and a few years ago my husband was quite keen to sail back to Australia- I said no. Funnily enough we met sailing. I’ve done a few offshore races and enjoyed my sailing over the years- but not for quite sometime now. So I said no to the sailing back to Australia thing when it came up. What I’ve realized is that I’m scared to take this adventure on- I’m scared because of numerous reasons. For me, it’s being scared that was motivation to take this on. As a 43 year old stay at home Mum who never thought I’d be reliant on my husband financially- I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself somewhere along the way. My friends have always said I’m a positive person but I don’t feel particularly positive in my head. Ahh my head, that is a whole other story- suffice to say, it’s busy inside my cranium and not always good busy or productive busy or useful busy, but busy it is.
So back to the boat thing-
We bought a boat, we moved onto the boat in June of this year (2016) and got our feet wet so to speak sailing around the Mediterranean during July and August. Our plans- cross the Atlantic and then we’ll see how we go. Caribbean, Panama Canal? Galapagos? Pacific? Australia? Stay tuned…